Today’s “The Nest’s Definitive Disney Princess Rankings, part 3” is brought to you by The Nest alumnus and What’s Poppin’ founder, Finn Schuh.
Missed Part 1 and Part 1? Find them here and here.
Some backstory: For your reading pleasure, I decided to rank all 14 of the Disney Princess movies from worst to best based on the characters, story, and soundtrack in an 8-part series. As a bonus category, I’ll also include how many times I cried during each movie.
Before I begin, I would like to clarify that this ranking is only going to include the 14 traditional Disney Princess movies. There won’t be any sequels, spin offs, or movies that happen to include princesses like Wreck It Ralph or Atlantis. I guess there could be potential spoilers ahead, but honestly, if you haven’t seen most of these movies yet, that’s your fault.
8. Frozen
Frozen is really not that good. To note, I am not analyzing Frozen 2 here (see comments on that at the end). I think it does some things really well, like Olaf’s character and Anna and Kristoff’s relationship, but a lot of it kind of falls flat. I cannot express enough how much I hate Anna and Elsa’s parents, the stupid rock trolls, and the two main antagonists.
For starters, Elsa and Anna’s parents recognized that Elsa’s powers could be dangerous if she didn’t learn to control them, but instead of helping her learn, they just covered it up … which is weird. Did they think they’d just disappear or something? Then they go to those rock trolls who show Elsa that traumatizing vision because they’re insensitive. What else makes them insensitive? They sing a song about how Kristoff and Anna should get it on while Anna is basically dying. Their whole existence is entirely inappropriate, and they’re only there for story progression.
Hans is probably one of the worst Disney villains to ever exist, and I stand by that. Disney pulls the twist villain trope a lot, and it feels like every time they do, it only gets worse and less impactful. He gets revealed within like the last ten or so minutes of the movie, and he doesn’t really give any evidence of actually being a villain. Compared to better twist villains like Lotso or Ernesto de la Cruz, Hans is just so weak. Then there’s the stupid Duke of Weselton, who’s just annoying and pretentious, and he hardly affects the story in any way.
The story is fine, I guess. I like the scenes between Anna, Kristoff, and Olaf the most just because they’re pretty funny. The soundtrack is really hit or miss. We get amazing songs like ‘Let it Go’ and ‘Love is an Open Door,’ but then there’s stuff like Olaf’s song about summer and ‘Do You Wanna Build a Snowman.’ There’s a lot wrong with this movie, but it’s not terrible. Overall, I give it a 6/10. If I’m being honest, the second one is a lot better. Kristoff’s “Lost in the Woods” song is a banger.
